The Fire Went Wild (Home is a Fire Book 2) Page 5

  “What did Michael say? Did you talk to him, yet?”

  “Oh, he’s thrilled for me!” she said, with a smile. “Now I’ll have a bit more power with the school board, of course, so we’ll be working even closer together. It’s good that we have this thing in common, to work on. Because the personal life stuff has been a little tricky, lately.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked. “What did you do now, acting principal Talbot?”

  “Oh, Derek,” she said, furrowing her brow. “I stepped in it. But good.” She put her cigarette out on the brick wall and placed the butt in her coat pocket. She coaxed a fresh one out of the pack, offered me one and I declined. I’ve never seen her as nervous as this before. Something major was up.

  “He did it,” she said, exhaling a fresh cloud of smoke. “He asked for the paperwork, about his birth mother. He submitted the forms and everything.”

  “Holy shit. And?”

  “And… he won’t tell me,” she answered, looking down momentarily at her high heels, and then up again. “They sent him an envelope with all the information they had. I know he opened it. He knows, now. He knows who his birth parents are, but he doesn’t want to tell me. He said it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change anything. He said he’s sorry he found out and wishes I hadn’t pushed him to be so curious. He blames me. I feel like shit, Derek. What am I gonna do?”

  “Bammy,” I said, reassuringly, “this isn’t your fault. Don’t let him guilt you like this. We all have choices to make, and he made a choice on his own. Sure, you raised the idea, but you didn’t force him. Just give him some time. Hopefully he’ll open up to you, later.”

  “I sure hope so,” she said, her eyes betraying how nervous she really was. “Because I really like him, Derek. I really do. And I just don’t want him to be unhappy with me.”

  “Bammy, no one could be unhappy with you for long. You’re an amazing person. We’re all lucky to have you.”

  I gave her a hug and stared off past the parking lot and into the woods. When I made the choice to come home and reconnect with my family and friends, I was hoping for some simple, fun times. So far, there had been a little more drama than I had counted on, and I had a feeling it was just about to multiply.

  The week was over before I knew it. On Friday after school I stopped at the grocery store to do some shopping, then drove over to Luke’s place. I hadn’t bothered texting him to touch base. Luke wasn’t the text message type, whereas I could basically communicate with Kit through emoji, alone. Luke was more old school, and as I walked in the door with a bag of groceries, I spotted a handwritten sticky note on the refrigerator.

  Derek - Off to Lana’s. It’s time I had that talk. Love you, L.

  Yikes. I was proud of him and scared for him all at once.

  I unpacked the groceries and started preparing a big pot of chili. I had planned on making a meatloaf, but instead I decided to make something that could sit on the stove, waiting. There was no telling if his conversation with his sister would be long and painful and drawn out, or shorter than a New York minute. Everyone’s journey is different.

  With the stove set to a slow simmer, I poured a massive glass of red wine and took my place on the couch, waiting patiently. I wanted to be here for him when he returned, ready to listen.

  About an hour and a half later I heard Luke’s car pull into the driveway. I quickly picked up the Parkville Post again so I could pretend to read the front page story about Mayor Tazewell’s unfortunate passing for the umpteenth time. It was really all they could write about. Not much else happened here. I was nervous, but I was trying not to show it because I knew I needed to be supportive.

  The doorknob turned and he walked in slowly, placing his keys on the hook by the front door. “Hey,” he said quietly, as I eyed him over the top of the newspaper.

  “Hey. Wanna go for a run?” I asked, trying to prove that I wasn’t chomping at the bit to ask him a million questions.

  He took his shoes off and lumbered towards the couch where I was sitting. He placed his head in my lap and snuggled in, under my outstretched arms that were holding the paper aloft.

  “No, not really,” he answered. “Did I miss anything interesting?”

  “Oh, not much,” I said, folding the paper and setting it down beside me. “We’re expecting a cold weather front. That big furniture warehouse is going out of business, again. Third time, I think. And, oh yeah… the mayor had a heart attack last week and died in the arms of our friend Tammy, down at the local strip joint.”

  “So, pretty average day for Parkville, huh?” he joked. “Dinner smells good. Chili?” He looked up at me, backwards, from my lap.

  “Yup.” Those blue eyes of his. Every time I see them, I’m grateful.

  He paused, knowing I was curious. “I don’t want to talk about it, yet,” he mumbled. “Can we eat first?”

  I looked down at him in my lap and smiled, reassuringly. “Sure thing, babe. It’s all ready. Let’s go.”

  We ate our meal and caught up on the day, avoiding the “coming out to his sister” part. We gossiped about Bammy’s promotion and how teachers at the school had reacted. It was strange enough that my close friend was the assistant principal, but now that she was going to be the big boss, I wondered if that would change our dynamic. Hopefully not.

  We cleared the dishes, took quick showers and brushed our teeth: all the mundane things that couples do in a relationship. Sometimes I had to laugh at the fear and loathing that some people have of same gender couples in our society. Well, not laugh, so much. It made me sad. When it comes down to it, we aren’t really all that different.

  Luke and I crawled into bed and I gave him a peck on the cheek, then reached up for the lamp on the bedside table.

  “You’re being unnaturally patient,” he said, before I could shut it off. I just smiled, without saying a word.

  “Okay, okay,” he sighed. “I’ve tortured you enough. We can talk about it now.”

  “Thank GOD!” I practically exploded. “It’s been driving me crazy. You know I have no patience! And I was so worried about you. Tell me what happened! What did she say? How did you start? Did you cry? Did she cry? Are you guys all right? Did she pull that oh, I already knew crap that people always pull? Or even worse, did she ask ‘when you knew,’ as if there was this thunderbolt moment when you made that ‘choice’ to be who you naturally are, anyway?!”

  “Slow down there, babe,” he said. “Is this my story or yours?” He rearranged himself so he was facing me, in bed. “I just needed some time to process it all. I know it was killing you, but I appreciate it.”

  He took a deep breath.

  “Well,” he started, “in a word… it sucked. And it’s all your fault.”

  But before I could say anything or make a face, he stopped me with a kiss.

  “What was that for?” I asked.

  “Because… when I got home after school today,” he began, “you weren’t here. I figured you were at the store buying groceries, or at your mom’s house picking something up. Regardless, I wasn’t worried, because I knew you would be back. And then it hit me. Hard. You were coming back to me, to this house, where we have started to build a life together. We’ve got a good thing going, and I can’t share that with everyone. And suddenly, it all just felt so stupid to keep that hidden. It’s good. We are good. And now that my dad knows and Rosa knows, well… I guess you could say I found my courage. Why the hell should I hide this from my sister, anymore? Or Amber? Or anyone? I love you, and I want them to know.”

  I gulped visibly, like a cartoon character. I was trying hard not to cry, because I wanted him to continue and not worry about me. But at this moment, I was so proud of him.

  “So before I could change my mind, I wrote you a note and stuck it on the fridge. I called Lana and said I needed to talk to her about something important. I’m sure she assumed it had something to do with the inheritance, so she said to come over right away. When I got in my car, “Center
field,” by John Fogerty, was playing on the radio, and well, it was like someone played that song just for me at that moment. I needed that chorus to push me. When I got to her place we sat down at the kitchen table and she just started in on me right away, asking questions about Father’s will and the lake house and all sorts of stuff that was just flying in one ear and out the other. I couldn’t concentrate. I felt like I was about to change my mind and leave. And suddenly she just looked at me with a puzzled expression and asked me what was wrong with me. She realized that wasn’t why I came over.”

  He held my hand, tighter. “I said to her ‘Lana, you’ve got to know,’ but she just looked at me funny, still not catching on. So, I figured it was best to start with a story, about when we were kids. I reminded her how we used to go skinny dipping down past our parents’ lake house, with these other kids who lived down the road. His name was Bobby and I can’t remember his younger sister’s name right now. That’s funny, but pretty telling. Anyway, we went almost every day that summer when I was twelve. Lana used to tease me, because even though she was younger than us, she could see that Bobby’s sister was pretty, and she thought I only wanted to go swimming so I could see the girls naked. And I’m sure that was the main reason Bobby went, but the truth was, it was Bobby I wanted to see. He was one year older than me, and that difference in our ages was so small, but his body had matured faster and farther than mine and I couldn’t help but pay attention to him. I remember staring at him in the sun and thinking how handsome he was, and even though I knew I wasn’t supposed to think that, it felt right somehow.”

  I remembered those feelings, myself, but I didn’t dare interrupt him. He was on a roll.

  “So I told her about Bobby, and how I had developed feelings for him. Feelings I didn’t act on, of course. But she looked at me like she still didn’t get it. It’s like she didn’t want to get it. I thought of you, and I felt braver. So I told her that yes, I dated Amber in high school, and yes, we fooled around, and yes, I liked it… but there was always something missing, like I was just going through the motions, doing what was expected of me. At this point, she was just staring at me, quietly, almost daring me to go further. She looked angry, almost. I could feel that truthfully she just wanted me to shut up and walk out the door and never have this discussion again, but I had already gone too far. So then I just did it. I opened up, completely, like I did with Father and Rosa a few months ago. I told her I was gay and that I was in love, and that she had already met the person, and I wanted to share that with her. And then I told her about you.”

  At this point my tears were pretty much not a choice, they were a reality. Slowly streaming down my face, I wiped them to the side as he continued.

  “And that’s where it all went to hell. She said I’d embarrass myself, publicly. It’s one thing to have a gay brother, but it’s another thing to ‘flaunt that lifestyle,’ as she said. She asked if I’ve been to therapy. I said no, and I didn’t think I needed it. I’m happy. She threatened to go to my father and tell him, so that I’ll be cut out of the will. I told her to go ahead, that he already knew and that he was becoming more accepting of it day by day. That silenced her for a moment. Then, she really went mad. My sister. This woman who claims to love me, who I have known my whole life, she started saying these horrible things to me, about how I was ruining my life, about how I would embarrass her, embarrass the family. She asked me how could I do this to Amber? Like I owe Amber anything? She started talking about ‘choices,’ and how I could change. I didn’t want to listen, anymore, so I told her I loved her, and I got up calmly and started walking towards the door. That’s when she threw the fireball.”

  “Wait,” I said. “There’s something worse than hateful words from someone you love?”

  “Much worse,” he said. “Actions. She threatened to tell the school board I’m gay, to get me fired. To get us fired. She said that if we come out at school, she would make sure that the town rallies against us. She is threatening to ruin us, so we have no choice but to hide. She’s backing us into a corner.”

  “Oh, really?” I said, tears gone, my adrenaline pumping. “Well, bring it, Lana. Do your worst. We have two things going for us, babe. First, we have each other, and we’re a strong team. Second, my bestie just happens to be the new principal. What does she have?”

  We were about to find out.

  6

  CCCP

  “My boyfriend is an activist.”

  I placed my Bloody Mary back down on the table after having taken a healthy sip. Tommy was sitting next to me, and I was catching him up on the last week. Spring was showing its face early this year, so we were sitting outside on the patio at the Tater Tot on a Saturday afternoon in jeans and long sleeved t-shirts, watching the strange mix of downtown residents, tourists and panhandlers.

  “PETA or Greenpeace?” he asked.

  “The gays,” I said. “Full stop. It took that man thirty years to come out of the closet, and just a few months to become Harvey Milk. He’s an athlete, remember? He’s just so damn competitive. He feels like he should win every time. Boy, is he gonna be surprised.”

  “So what’s going on?” Tommy asked, pushing his sunglasses to the top of his head. “Family stuff? Work?”

  “Both. And I’m nervous as hell,” I admitted. Where’s our server with our second round, I thought? I spun my head to take a look towards the bar.

  “I already got it, man,” said Tommy, noticing my Linda Blair impression. “They’re on the way.”

  “You know me so well.” We toasted with the last sip of spicy tomato vodka goodness as the waitress dropped off two fresh drinks at our table. Tommy’s feet were propped up on the chair across from him and he had his face turned up, trying to get a bit of that early spring sun.

  “So,” I began, “it all started when we ran into Lana and Amber here at the Tater Tot last week. It was awkward, to say the least. I mean, those two hardly even noticed me, but Luke just about flipped. He looked a bit like a caged animal, unsure of what to protect or who to attack. I got him out of it by saying we had to run and meet ‘the guys’ for a movie.”

  “Man, that sucks,” said Tommy, “having to lie like that.”

  “It’s okay,” I said. “I know he had a tough time telling his dad, and I just didn’t think a restaurant was the best place to have it out with his sister. Anyway, yesterday he decided to tell her the truth, and… let’s just say she wasn’t as accepting as he hoped she would be.”

  “Ouch. Man, it must suck having to go through that over and over. Does it get easier?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “You should be so grateful you don’t have to go through this crap. I mean, nobody requires you to stand up and say you’re straight? How come we get all the fun?” I took another healthy gulp from my glass. “Anyway, he came out to his sister, and it wasn’t pretty. She didn’t go full on ‘fire and brimstone’ on him, but she came pretty close. She threatened to go to the school board to get us fired, so he’s been super on edge this whole week, waiting for the floor to fall out from underneath him. He loves his job and he doesn’t want to lose it. He’s a great coach, and not only that, he’s a winning coach, and you know how they’d hate to give that up. The funny thing is, she probably thought she was pushing him back in the closet, but in a way, she’s actually pushing him out even faster than he had planned. I know him. He’s not going to take this lying down. He’s staying calm for now, but this morning he was talking about making a ‘bold statement.’ I mean, even I don’t know if I’m ready to stage a love-in at the high school. I was pretty good with how things were.”

  “I mean honestly, what can they do?” asked Tommy. “It’s not the 1960s. You guys can’t get fired, right?”

  “Well, actually we can. Gays and lesbians can get married now thanks to the Supreme Court ruling, but the anti-discrimination laws regarding the workplace are pretty fuzzy. For the most part, they don’t exist. The few that have been put into place have been repealed. If we decid
e to actually come out publicly at school, or even worse, as a gay couple, then we’re definitely second class citizens and there’s no telling what would happen.”

  “Thanks for the civics lesson, teach,” he chuckled. “But seriously, no wonder we have so many closet cases around here.”

  “Brother, the stories I could tell you. But I can’t. They’d revoke my gay membership card. Enough about my problems, though. How are things with Meredith?”

  “Just great, man,” he said. “She and Kit are getting along like gangbusters down at the gallery. They found this guy who makes sculptures out of old rusted tractor metal. They’re totally digging that. And they have a few new photographers they want to represent. All in all, they’re doing pretty well.”

  “That sounds great! I’m happy they’re making a go of it,” I said. “This town needs every little bit of culture it can get its hands on.”

  “Tell me about it,” he said. “Remember when we were in middle school and their idea of culture was to take us on a field trip to the dairy farm?”

  “How could I forget? Some of those farmers were hunks,” I laughed. I liked to try and shock Tommy by sharing these revelations, as we grew older.

  “Dude, don’t ruin my memories. We got free ice cream that day.” He paused. “But that girl who handed them out at the end of the tour was hot, too.”

  “See?” I said, smiling. “Something for everyone. Cheers!”

  I spent Sunday night at my mom’s house. I didn’t want to tempt fate by sleeping over at Luke’s and then showing up with him at school. As I was walking out the door on Monday morning, the phone rang and I answered it. Another hang up. I made a mental note to myself to get Mom a more modern telephone with Caller ID, and at the very least get her on that Do Not Call list the government set up. Does that even work?